Post by GALE SAGAR on May 2, 2011 18:48:47 GMT -5
Gale Sagar
"this is my burden to bear."
"this is my burden to bear."
Sixty-Eight-Merman-Heartbroken-Guilty-Haunted
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THE MERMAN.
My name is Gale Sagar. Gale is the term for an intense storm. Sagar is a word for ocean. I am currently sixty eight years old and residing in Tortuga. Until someone has need of me on a ship or other town, I work as a bartend in a pub I won from a drunkard in a dice game.
THE GIRL.
Nixie Johnstone. She was the most beautiful woman that I have ever met or will ever meet. Her eyes were as clear and blue as the sea itself, her laugh was as musical as a man could ever hope for, and to top it off, she was lovely and kind inside and out. I met her when her father caught me off the shore of one of the Virgin Islands. She helped me escape from his boat. I spent the next three months visiting her at her father's shop, slowly wooing her, winning over her father, learning how to sail, until I was allowed to start courting her. Courting a human was worth it, she was so much less self-centered than some mermaids, and she was so loving and amazing. She was almost always smiling, and would help any living thing, from a child or small animal to a merperson her father had captured like me. Nixie was compassionate, and knew when and when not to pry. Her touch was always gentle, and she loved the sea as much as I did.
THE STORM.
A few weeks after I was allowed to get closer to Nixie, I made a plan to take her out onto the sea in the small boat I'd gotten my hands on to see the sunset. I was considering telling her what I was that day, letting her know my secret and asking her not to tell anyone else. It was going to be worth the protential lecture and ostracism that we would encounter for running off together.
And it was. The sunset was beautiful, Nixie was overjoyed--and also beautiful, though she always was--she rested her head on my shoulder, I was allowed to steal a kiss, and I decided not to tell her what I was right then or risk spoiling the perfect moment. Everything was going spectacularly...until we started to head home.
Storm clouds had been gathering already, but I was certain we would get the boat to port before the storm began. I would've, too, until the wind picked up in the wrong direction, pulling us further from shore. I put down the sails and worked to get the boat in the right direction with Nixie's help. She kept telling me she believed in me, that she knew we could get home safely. Thunder rolled and lightning cracked overhead, and the rain begain to fall. I gave up trying to redirect the boat and focused on keeping her safe. This proved not too difficult of a task; I held her close and talked calmly, as if this was no trouble and it would be over soon. Waves began to threaten the boat, and I held ever so slightly tighter to Nixie. But when her necklace broke and landed on the other end of the boat, she wrestled out of my arms and leapt to grab it...just as a wave crashed over the ship. I leapt after her, calling her name and reaching for her; but the boat was broken in two, and we were both plunged into the stormy sea.
I was fine, of course, I returned to my mermish form and would be able to swim with ease. Nixie wouldn't be so lucky--though considerably, she was adided by the lack of corset and heavy dress that I'd seen richer women wear--and struggled to keep her head above the water. I broke the surface and searched for her as quickly as I could, screaming her name. I heard a shout of 'HELP', then 'GALE, PLEASE'. I dove under the water and swam toward her, but not before she'd sunk under the surface again and had begun to sink like a stone, her efforts to get herself back to the surface frail and weak, barely even noticeable movements. Once again, I started toward her, but another wave crashed and disrupted the water, sending me further away. If I had tried harder, I know I could've gotten to her. I lost sight of her, and in panic, I broke the surface again, calling her name desperately. When no reply came, I dove under and called again, and when I finally found her seconds later, she wasn't moving.
Gathering her in my arms, I swam back to the surface--where the storm was still raging--and tried to shake her awake. No response. Nixie Johnson, the girl I would be willing to give up the sea for, was gone.
THE PUNISHMENT.
After placing Nixie's body on the shore, I was lost as to what to do. If I was seen with her now, people would both see my fins and think that I was responsible. That's when it clicked. It was my fault. I had taken her out to sea. I hadn't headed home when I'd seen the storm clouds. I had let her jump away from me when the wave crashed. I hadn't tried hard enough to save her. Nixie's death was my fault. Any other person would maybe return to their home in shame and await the humiliation and hatred. But no other mermaid or merman would understand. I might even be celebrated for letting her drown, especially since she was a fisherman's daughter. I couldn't return to my lagoon, not with the amount of guilt I carried. Certainly a feeling this horrible and heavy would cause a merman to sink to the ocean floor and never allow him to move again, making him suffer for his foolishness.
No. I could still move, and feel every inch of the pain. A man is usually seen as weak or ridiculed for showing emotion in the form of tears. But the night that Nixie died, I sobbed, unable to cope with the loss in any other way.
That night, I condemned myself to the surface and land. I would only touch water when I absolutely needed to, and even then for an hour an hour only. This punishment began on Tortuga, where I've been for a year and four months.
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SKIPPY! I also play Ada, Nerissa, and Gideon.
